Beyond Conventional Wisdom

Does your sex life fulfill your need to feel loved? Are you able to have satisfying conversations with your sexual partner about your sexual likes, dislikes, fears, shame and need for both freedom and emotional connection? Are you able to listen compassionately and understand more when your partner talks about his/her sexual feelings, needs, desires and difficulties? If the answer to all of the above questions is “Yes” then don’t bother reading any further.

To those of you still here, join the crowd. Conventional thinking reduces sex to a performance designed to produce better sexual gymnasts. With all the advertisements proclaiming the wonders of pills that produce erection, aids to stimulate orgasm and enhancement surgeries, it’s no wonder that most sexual discussions focus on sex as merely a physical act.

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“Don’t therapize me!,” “I hate it when you psychoanalyze me!”, or “Cut out that psychobabble!” Phrases like these epitomize commonly thought of adverse reactions to psychotherapy. What does your picture of psychotherapy look like?

The face of psychotherapy whether practiced in an office, from a book, or in the media typically looks like a guru giving advice, analyzing and directing people in how they should feel, behave and think.

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Community is typically thought of as a group of people living in the same locality or regularly gathering together such as in a work, social or on-line community. But, for many of us, just being in the same neighborhood, home or in cyberspace is not satisfying. My hunger for community is not met just by being together.

The heart of a community is meaningful connections. That’s what feeds my intellect, emotions, physical body, spirituality and creativity and nourishes my soul. Heart talk involves being emotionally touched with important personal learning, and feeling seen, heard and appreciated. With an intention to make heart connections an important and integral part of the community, any activity is an opportunity to be meaningfully together.

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