Happiness: Beyond Worry
Optimism
Have you noticed the power and magical quality we give to worry? For many people, not worrying is equated being uncaring or naïve. Michael, my partner, has told me on many occasions, “Don’t worry; it will all work out.” I would always reply, “Yes, but how?” He would say, “I don’t know, but I know it will.”
Worry has been the bane of my existence. During a spiritual practice that I recently engaged in with two friends, I realized that worry disconnects me from the happiness and serenity that are in my heart.
Our practice consisted of ten life-affirming statements. Starting with one statement each day, we repeated the process four times, thus doing forty rounds in ten days. Each day we wrote out one statement and then meditated on it, journaled about it, and shared with one another what came up.
We wrote about what we understood about the statement, what we didn’t understand, what we accepted, and what we were struggling with. There were days when I felt quite resistant to the statements, but over time I noticed my heart opening to the practice of being more relaxed and in the flow of a loving, divine presence.
Through this practice I found two powerful antidotes to fear and worry. The heart of happiness is curiosity and optimism.
Curiosity is an antidote to fear. When I truly want to know more about something I feel alive, looking into the future with a question on my mind. I’m occupied by a state of wonder rather than worry. It is like taking a deep breath of fresh air. Curiosity has lightness to it; it lets in the light. The deep breath of curiosity oxygenates my blood which brings oxygen to my brain and helps me think more creatively and be more imaginative. Curiosity helps me be a pilgrim of possibility.
When I start to catch myself spiraling down into fear and contraction, I say to myself, “Pull, up, pull up, be curious, not afraid.” I remind myself not to waste time or energy wallowing in the paralyzing force of fear. Moving into a state of curiosity is where I can more effectively deal with the daily challenges that pop up.
Optimism is a perfect partner to curiosity and is an antidote to worry. If the in-breath brings oxygen into my body, optimism is like the blood that carries the oxygen. If I am worried I become tense. In fact worry has a negative physiological affect on my body as well as my mind and spirit. Through time this can be quite debilitating. Optimism, on the other hand, is the life-blood of my soul.
These two keys, curiosity and optimism, keep me healthy and happy. Being in a state of fear and worry is like contracting pneumonia. It stops my breath, which, in turn slows my blood flow, deprives my brain of oxygen, and my blood becomes stagnant.
Experiment with taking a deep breath of curiosity and optimism. See if it leads you, like it has me, to a happier, more healthy body, mind, and spirit.
What are your thoughts and questions regarding staying open to learning, especially when you’re upset?
What are your thoughts and questions with maintaining the faith that allows you to be optimistic?
Hear a New Dimensions Radio interview with Justine Toms
I too like to use body centered ways to move from worry whenever I can. Singing is one of the ways that I do it. I love to sing and when I’m singing with others worries completely disappear. Singing takes me directly into joy. Sometimes when we are feeling really good we go into worry because we are afraid of enjoying ourselves. Gay Hendricks encourages us to move into our “zone of genius” in his new book “The Big Leap.” He asks a profound question, “Am I willing to increase the amount of time every day that I feel good inside?” We might easily say yes to this willingness, but if you are like me you’ll find that our habits of sabotaging this good feeling may be deep seeded and quite unconscious. Having an intention of noticing these feelings when they pop up is a good first step. Otherwise they have an insidious way of being in charge.
Justine, you said something that was very important for me to hear: “not worrying is equated being uncaring or naïve.”
That comment helped me realize two things. (1) That when my mother worries, I can appreciate that she is, in her way, expressing care, and I can thank her for that – rather than be annoyed at her for worrying, and
(2) that when my husband does NOT worry, he is not being naive. This is a huge realization, because it means that I do not have to take on worrying just to be sure that one of us is being appropriately mature!
I used a specific method recently to move myself out of worry – doing my T’ai Chi Chih movements every day. It’s amazing how a body-based spiritual practice can have such a positive effect on the mind. But the proof is in the pudding, as they say. Thanks for sharing the practice you used. There are many ways to open our hearts and keep them open.
Diana Daffner, author and workshop leader
Dear Emily,
Here are the statements that I used. You meditate on one statement each day and journal about it. It is good to do this practice with one or two other people. This helps to both keep you “on track” and will stimulate a deeper conversation. After you finish the set of 10 statemets, you start over again. You do this cycle four times, which will give you the 40 days.
Here are the statements:
40 day abundance program – John Randolph Price
1. God is lavish, unfailing Abundance, the rich omnipresent substance of the Universe. This all-providing Source of infinite prosperity is individualized as me – the Reality of me.
2. I lift up my mind and heart to be aware, to understand and to know that the Divine Presence I AM is the Source and Substance of all my good
3. I am conscious of the Inner Presence as my lavish Abundance. I am conscious of the constant activity of this Mind of infinite Prosperity. Therefore, my consciousness is filled with the Light of Truth
4. Through my consciousness of my God-Self, the Christ within, as my Source, I draw into my mind and feeling nature the very substance of Spirit. This substance is my supply, thus my consciousness of the Presence of God within me is my supply.
5. Money is not my supply. No person, place of condition is my supply. My awareness, understanding and knowledge of the all-providing activity of the Divine Mind within me is my supply. My consciousness of this Truth is unlimited, therefore my supply is unlimited.
6. My inner supply instantly and constantly takes on form and experience according to my needs and desires, and as the Principle of Supply in action, it is impossible for me to have any needs or unfulfilled desires.
7. The Divine Consciousness that I am is forever expressing its true nature of Abundance. This is its responsibility, not mine. My only responsibility is to be
8. My consciousness of the Spirit within me as my unlimited Source is the Divine Power to restore the years the locusts have eaten, to make all things new, to lift me up to the High Road of abundant prosperity. This awareness, understanding and knowledge of Spirit appears as every visible form and experience that I could possible desire.
9. When I am aware of the God-Self within me as my total fulfillment, I am totally fulfilled. I am now aware of this Truth. I have found the secret of life and I relax in the knowledge that the Activity of Divine Abundance is eternally operating in my life. I simply have to be aware of the flow, the radiation, of that Creative Energy, which is continuously, easily and effortlessly pouring forth from my Divine Consciousness. I am not aware. I am now in the flow.
10. I keep my mind and thoughts off “this world” and I place my entire focus on God within as the only Cause of my prosperity. I acknowledge the Inner Presence as the only activity in my financial affairs, as the substance of all things visible. I place my faith in the Principle of Abundance in action within me.
Justine–I am grateful to read this reflection on optimism and curiosity. I am glad you are sharing your continuous learning practice. You remind me that through contemplation and an awareness of breathing I can start fresh each moment, with each thing that triggers worry. I am interested in the serenity practice method you shared with two friends and believe this may be a tool I can bring to my women’s spiritual group. Thanks!