Introduction & The Heart of the Matter
Heart Is Where Your Home Is
Have you ever come to the realization that something that was supposed to make you happy, did not? Or, that what you were taught was the “right” way to be or think changed somewhere along the line? The Beyond Conventional Wisdom blog reflects my lifetime of struggling down paths that never fulfilled their promise.
It took years for me to discover the simple truth that all the things for which I truly yearn, such as happiness, peace of mind, joy, abundance, serenity, and meaningful connections with myself and others, happen when I’m connected to my heart.
Without that knowledge, I wandered in the desert of many spectacularly failed careers. I did not have a clue that my heart was not in being a stockbroker, stage producer or home builder. It wasn’t until I stepped into the classroom that I recognized that teaching was my heart’s desire. Even when I became a psychotherapist, what really lit my fire was teaching, whether as an author, workshop leader, motivational speaker or guest expert on television and radio programs.
Although I found my heart in my career, I never fully embraced it in my marriage. Instead, out of fear of losing myself, I struggled to stay in control. Only in the ashes of that failed relationship did I confront and begin to resolve the fears that kept me from listening to, and giving from, my heart.
The path of the heart is the road less traveled. Now, I’m excited to evolve with you past the conventional wisdom that takes us away from both our own hearts and the heart of the institutions that deeply affect our lives. All Beyond Conventional Wisdom blogs will focus on the heart of issues such as:
• The Heart of Politics: Beyond Partisanship
• The Heart of Religion: Beyond Dogma
• The Heart of Gender Identity: Beyond Masculine and Feminine
• The Heart of Intimacy: Beyond Sex
• The Heart of Sex: Beyond Performance
Most of the blogs that I write will include the wisdom of a transformational thinker. As the ideas for future blogs have grown, many subjects in which I don’t have much experience have been added. Therefore, I have invited some profound heart-filled thinkers to write about their area of expertise.
All current and future blog subjects can be found in the categories at the top of each page. Current blogs are lit up and future blogs are grayed-out.
Each post will end with questions designed to deepen your personal experience. Your thinking will help clarify our thinking. Each post will also ask you for the resources that have been helpful in changing your ideas. Your involvement can play an invaluable part in transforming your life and the lives of others.
By clicking Additional Resources at the bottom of each post you will find information about guest contributors, as well as books, films, music, audio messages and ideas to more deeply understand and connect to the heart of each subject. I invite you to send your recommendations for people and experiences that have helped you go beyond conventional thinking and they will be added to the list.
Sharing your experiences and questions about each article is easy. Just click on “Comments” below each post, fill out the form and click SEND. You can also share any ideas for improving the blog as well as suggestions for future subjects by emailing Jordan@drjordanpaul.com
“The Heart of the Matter” reveals the central organizing theme of all Beyond Conventional Wisdom blogs.
The Heart of the Matter
Universal Heart
I began questioning conventional wisdom when I fell in love with a woman who was thinking way beyond what was considered “normal.” Imagine in 1963, the product of a previous generation whose major rebellious action was seeing how many people could be stuffed into a telephone booth, living with a woman and a new generation who were challenging many deeply held beliefs.
I have no doubt that the arguments in my home were similar to those taking place around many dinner tables. Below are just a few examples of what was being questioned. My “conventional” thinking at the time in parenthesis.
- What are healthy and safe foods to eat? (Big businesses would never take advantage of us so why bother with things like reading labels?)
- What is meaningful education? (Educators know best and should not be questioned about how and what to teach.)
- Why should we support a government who is waging an unjust war? (I trust my government. Political leaders would not invade another country unless it was necessary for our safety.)
- Why are women not treated as equal to men? (Everybody knows that’s how nature intended it!)
Many eras are noted for overturning entrenched ideas. Yet, the more things change the more they seem to stay the same. Meaningful and fulfilling change occurs only by living congruently with the truth that lies at the heart of the matter. For example:
- If the heart of one’s religion is love, unloving actions will not create a rewarding connection to God.
- If the heart of one’s nature is to love those of one’s own sex, living as a heterosexual can never be gratifying.
- If the heart of education — as derived from its Latin root educare — is “to draw out,” then cramming facts into heads will not serve students, teachers or a society.
This might sound all well and good but conventional wisdom is a powerful force that usually works against us. The pool of beliefs that we unquestioningly accept to be true, often forgets about the essence of things. Heart-less living is a recipe for dissatisfaction. Living in integrity with essential truths results in satisfying our heartfelt needs for peace, connection and the self-esteem that comes from knowing that our lives have meaning.
The first step in rediscovering the soul of most areas is to embrace our human hearts. If we are designed to follow our nature, then living more heart-connected is how we can simultaneously improve our lives and change the world. The first blog in the Emotional Well Being category, “Heart: Beyond Weak,” presents some further thinking about the essential part our hearts play in our search for more fulfilling lives.
I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences with the heart of the matter. What does the heart of the matter mean to you? What ideas do you have about connecting with the heart of the matter?
Do you see your Tag cloud!
This is the attraction …heart, compassion, community, connection,creativity, wisdom!
The Tag cloud is one’ thermometer.
Jordan
The more I read the more I am inspired to go further
and learn more about what you write.
You know that I am online a lot and few times
have a found a person writing in the manner
that you do.
Kare Anderson also had the same effect on me…
magnetized me into thinking who is she?
I look forward to being part of your network.
Well, this is all good. I guess it is better late than never. Jordan, you are a good man for sticking to it and never giving up seaking the truth. may the rest of us start sooner and dig deeper to get beyond the conventional truth that we are programed with.
Jordan,
You are positively glwoing thorugh this blog-your-mission-in-life –
kudos to you, and ….
In a civilization when love is
gone we turn to justice and when
justice is gone we turn to power
and when power is gone we
turn to violence.
Opportunity is often inconvenient.
Remember the many
compartments of the heart,
the seed of what is
possible. So much of who
we are is defined by
the places we hold for each
other. For it is not our ingenuity
that sets us apart, but our
capacity for love, the
possibility our way will
be lit by grace. Our hearts
prisms, chiseling out the
colors of pure light.
For me the heart of the matter is understand myself and being consciously in the center ( the heart ) of all that flows around me and is not in alignment with inspired living.
Thanks for outlining your future heart flow.
To me, the heart of the matter involves a subtle interplay of mind and body. Most of us are cut off from feeling, not the kind that we identify as emotion, but that which is our natural knowingness registering in the body. We are constantly numbed by real-time experiences and perceptions that overwhelm our sensibilities—both from the media and in everyday life—deadening our nervous systems and limiting our inclination and ability to access the truth of our own beings. That truth leads us to knowledge of our core self which is there, waiting to be acknowledged and affirmed. It’s not mysterious, nor foreign. It’s always as close the beating of our own hearts. And it only waits to be claimed by us as real and valid, without reservation. Once we do so, we have a gyroscope on our ship that allows us to navigate the most turbulent waters of our lives. One which we can always consult to find out whether we are on course concerning our thoughts, emotions, motivations and behaviors. In relationship, this takes on the form of energetic interaction, so important to the full expression of love.
Kamala, thank you for your words. Something awakens in me as you speak to what waits to be claimed as real and valid. I’ve been on the journey of coming home to my heart, my authentic being for some time. It feels as though I’ve opened the door to myself yet something energetic is desiring to come forth…my intention is to no longer wait for myself to create/be what it is that I am … by waiting for some one else to accept me. And yet, I’ve been without my self for so long, hanging onto my adaptive self to be in flow with others, maybe I’m still afraid to be me and acknowledge who I am. Lost but close.
Tcha
Part of my spiritual/emotional path has been learning to recognize when I am in my heart, which is also to be connected to my deeper knowing. When I recognize that I am in a place of protection, how to I find my way back. I have developed a list of practices that have been helpful to follow which supports my return to a frequency of love, openness and compassion. What are those for you?
My first step after recognizing that there is fear present is to allow the energy to move. Subconsciously, I see how my body contracts when difficult feelings are touched off. In chinese medicine, it is understood that disease is often due to the restriction of the flowing of energy through the meridians of the body. Likewise, we can learn to constructively facilitate the movement of emotional energies, which can deliver our emotional body to a state of flowing and not restriction. The form of this can be through breath, sound and movement, with focus on the places in our body where we are holding the tension.
Oftentimes when I have achieved the release, I can find great insights into the nature of what has produced the initial protective impulses.
Jordan, this is a facinating topic. I eagerly await your thoughts and insights in future blogs.
This makes me very curious about your views. I feel the society has been stuck in heartless intentions which then rolls into family dysfunctions. I am open to reading more on this.
Within 24 hours after reading The Heart of the Matter, a friend spoke almost your exact words of “conventional wisdom”: “Big businesses would never take advantage of us so why bother with things like reading labels?” It seems obvious (in hindsight of course) that these conventional thoughts give away our power and responsibility. Breaking out of the box and tapping into our unconventional wisdom is what is called for now to take us toward a future commensurate with our magnificent human potential. Thank you for igniting this creative, loving fire!
This was the first time for me to read through your entire website and it warms my heart. You question “Is my heart open?” stuck with me all day and my partner and I had a good discussion (with heart) about relating with more open hearts. I’m looking forward to seeing what you feature with each new blog and will share it with friends.